You must confront the pickles!

What is up with Maury Povich? This is a question that keeps me awake a night, along with a constant pondering of the infinite universe and it's never-ending abyss, and I am truely dying to get to the bottom of it. Now, I've never been one to think highly of Mr. Povich in the first place, but a recent viewing of this clip has led me to believe that this man is honestly one step away from Hitler himself, which is ironic because Povich is Jewish. Maybe that isn't ironic, I have a loose understanding of irony. Either way, the pickle situation above is evidence enough for me that Povich, with his large, doe eyes and soft, caring voice, is actually cruel, calculated, and over all vile human being.

Despite the fact that if I ever met this girl, I'd probably laugh at her and put pickles in her food as often as I could, I still find it completely inappropriate that a man who claims that his show "present[s] compelling topics, sometimes of a controversial nature, that explore family and relationship issues that need to be discussed" would exploit this girl and her fears for a minimal ratings boost. I mean, sure, given the choice between a rerun of CHiPs, an episode of Ambush Makeover, or watching a completely insane girl freak the fuck out because some guy just threw a plate of pickles at her, it's obvious to me that Maury is the go-to option here. But that is not the problem. If Maury advertised his show as "an hour of fucking with crazy people" then I would be all for it, and I wouldn't feel guilty because of it. Alas, this is not the case. See for yourself, take a trip over to www.mauryshow.com. If you are mature enough to click on "Inside Maury" without laughing, two points for you. While perusing the grammatical abortion that is "Inside Maury", it's easy to see that Povich considers his show serious business. In fact, there is no mention at all of pickle throwing, hypnotism, deformations, or baby-mamma drama. There is, however, a detailed description of Maury himself. Propaganda, if you will:

A veteran journalist, Povich is well known for his ability to get to the heart of the matter. He is also a husband, father, and grandfather, whose compassion has helped him form a natural bond with guests and viewers.

Are you kidding me, Maury? Getting to the "heart of the matter"? This poor woman comes to you with her heart-wrenching story of how, since childhood, she has been deathly afraid of pickles of any kind. And what do you do? You throw pickles at her from all sides and laugh to the audience like she is a fucking crazy person. She may be fucking crazy, but there is no need to lure her into your trust, then stab her in the back with it. Is this how you form your "natural bond"? Be honest with yourself, Maury. You've already got the bad hair, smarmy attitude, shitty set, and tacky website. It's time to come to terms with yourself and admit to the fact that you are entertainment and nothing else. You are not a journalist. Journalists focus on news, not on how many guys he can lure in with his decoy slut and cheap limo. Journalists don't give paternity tests for some whore who slept with twelve guys, while advertising it like this is something acceptable. And as far as I know, journalists don't torment their subjects with pickles in front of a live studio audience. Connie Chung picked a winner.

Hello? Is it me you're looking for?

Welcome to the blog ROFL Brothel. ROFL is pronounced "roffle" which rhymes with brothel. That is funny.

This blog will soon contain thoughts on life, love, and the pursuit of happiness, usually with a humerous overtone, so you can look forward to that. So far, this blog is composed by one Austin Hannah and another Russ Baker, so hey... maybe it won't be that funny.

But either way, check here for posts and pictures and whatnot, so on and so forth. It will be good. Or maybe it will be okay. But it won't be bad. Well, it won't be really bad, I don't think.

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